The scariest things are usually the best things for us. And being vulnerable is something we all fear at some point. We fear that if someone sees the real us, they’ll leave, love us less, or treat us differently. It’s a scary thing. *And for those who do walk away, you don’t need them. They aren’t comfortable enough with themselves; it’s not you.
Being vulnerable is something I have struggled with and am just starting to come out of my little shell. Turns out, the world is brighter and much more exhilarating when you leap into being just completely you. Emotional, undecided, lost, happy, sad, sensitive, insecure, flawed, messy you.
I get so dang scared when people see the sloppy, jagged, unfinished parts of me. But turns out, most people are pretty forgiving because they’re the same way too. I think we forget that; that everyone has their broken, uneven parts they’re trying to sort out as well. So, are you looking to get real with yourself and the world (or at least just those close to you)? Here are my tips to getting there.
1. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.
Yeah, you’re not perfect. Who asked you to be? So, why do you keep getting onto yourself for not being an unreachable standard? You’re fine and you are enough as you are, okay? Stop being so hard on yourself.
2. SOFTEN UP ON THOSE BARRIERS.
So you’ve been hurt before. That really sucks and I’m sorry. The fact is, no one is immune to hurt, and sometimes, it seems to often come from the ones we love the most. But we can’t walk around with a fence around us our entire lives, shutting everything out. We won’t get to enjoy the sights, the feelings, the wonder of a messed-up world that still has hope. Forgive the past, let go of the situations, write down all of your insecurities, all of your charged memories and then forgive. [I know this is much easier said then done, but it all begins with you]
3. THIS IS YOUR MOMENT.
You’re on a cliff, staring down at scary possibilities. You look behind you and realize there’s nothing more that can come from your past. Your future lies before you. So, here’s your moment where you will leap into the scary unknown. It’s exhilarating, frightening, and it’s just what you need.
4. IT’S TIME TO BE REAL.
Whether to yourself or to a loved one:
Take a deep breath. Speak your truth. Share your worries, your doubts, the reasons you get sad. Tell your fears, your biggest regrets, and your deepest wishes. It’s okay if you cry. It’s alright if you get a little mad. Because this is you. And you are spectacular.
Once you’re real, it feels SO good. Say hello to the true you.