Coming out of a few abusive relationships, years of choosing others over me, and past traumas I haven’t dealt with, I’ve been trying to heal through things, change my mindset and become the best version of me. Here’s what I’ve been doing.
My Process for Healing & Self-Discovery
Going to counseling
I know I am working on becoming a healthier version of me and not repeating past mistakes because I’m going to a psychologist who is helping me rewrite who I am to be a much healthier version of me. You can find a psychologist in your town here.
Having moments of stillness in the morning and at night
I give myself time to align with my goals, sit without my phone on, and write what I am thankful for, do some religious study, visualize and pray. I feel so much more at peace and feel focused.
Allowing myself to cry and feel depressed
I decided to let the bad days exist, let the tears fall, and embrace the uncomfortable feelings. I’ve gone through a lot, so there’s a lot I have to heal through. I sit in the bad instead of pushing it away. (Trust me, I pushed a lot of feelings and heartaches away for years and they all caught up to me at once, so it’s best to deal with them now.)
Seeking my supports and recognizing when I need them
I’m so so thankful for my family and friends who have been right here for me every step of the way. I realized when I’m having a rough moment, to reach out to others so they can be there for me and remind me of my strength.
Reading articles and books on healing
Surrounding myself with goodness and positive energy.
Changing my mindset
From negative self-talk, my abundance mindset, and understanding where my limiting beliefs are, I am consciously rewiring my thoughts to be more logical than emotional. Filled with more grace and forgiveness for my shortcomings and bringing more love and excitement for the future.
Listening to healing music & podcasts
Maggie Rogers’s “Heard It In a Past Life” is fresh and full of self-awareness that is hard to come by in mainstream music. I also love India.Arie’s album on Life & Relationships is full of healing and learning moments.
The podcasts I’ve been listening to are:
Taking time to be alone
Being around people is good for our spirits, but taking time to be alone without putting on a face or putting up a front is essential to healing. This allows time to reflect and understand who we are and what we want without other outside influences.
Investing in myself
I’ve bought courses and guides to further my career goals or just to get into better mindsets. By spending money on these courses, I feel like I’m investing in myself and putting faith in myself that I can succeed. The courses I’m participating in right now are Instagram for Success, Abundant AF, and a 21 Day Content Creation Challenge.
I’ve heard of journaling my whole life but never really got into it. I’ve been doing it daily lately, and it truly has been so healing. I write down amazing things that are happening once a day, I answer journal prompts, and ponder what’s circling around in my mind. Getting it down onto paper is uplifting and freeing.
“I forgive you. I love you. I’m sorry. Thank you.”
Taking the time to go over your guilt or shame or charged memories and talking to yourself about them, what you’ve learned, how that was the best you could do at the time, and how you are now going to learn the lesson and let it go. Repeat this for every situation:“I forgive you. I love you. I’m sorry. Thank you.” And if it still is feeling unfinished, ask God to take care of the rest, to make up the difference, and heal this wound.
The truth is,
I don’t have it all figured out. I’ve made many mistakes and I’ve failed time after time. But I’m here, trying to make myself whole, trying to break the cycle. I hope some of these suggestions will help you on your journey. Remember to be kinder to yourself, because you are so much stronger than you think. Healing starts with you. It’s tough and it’s not pretty and it takes a lot of time, but the light on the other side is so worth it.1